I won\’t be doing much blogging tomorrow – maybe none at all.
That is because my wife and I are heading out early in the morning, from central New Jersey to Sayville, Long Island, where we will meet our son at the Fire Island ferry and head to an area of Fire Island known as The Pines.
The Pines, as some of you may know, is primarily a gay area. We\’ll spend the day and most of the evening, then head back because the house he belongs to will be full.
For anyone who is curious about this, I have put together a Question and Answer narrative below:
Q. Why would you go to The Pines with your son if that\’s a primarily gay area of Fire Island. He isn\’t gay is he?
A. Yes he is.
Q. Really? He told you he was gay?
A. Everyone who knows him knows he\’s gay. He came out quite a few years ago.
Q. Well, now I understand why you are so big an advocate for gay rights. You\’re stuck with a gay kid. Tough luck.
A. Nope, my wife and I were advocates for gay rights long before our son came out. And we\’re not “stuck” with anything. We have two sons, one straight and one gay. And we couldn\’t be happier with or prouder of either of them. We\’re the luckiest parents on earth.
Q. Yeah, I know that\’s what you have to say. I understand.
A. No, I don\’t have to say that. I \’m saying it because it\’s a fact. You can believe whatever you want, but if you believe I\’m saying it because I have to rather than because I 100% mean it, you don\’t understand at all.
Q. Well, if you\’re proud of your gay son, and he\’s been out for years and years, why haven\’t you ever mentioned the fact that he is gay in here?
A. I haven\’t mentioned it before, exactly because of what we are talking about now. I assumed that some people would conclude the only reason I support gay rights is because I have a gay son, which would suggest my opinion was compromised by a personal situation — which, again, is not true. Our children grew up in a house where they were told that people should be judged on their qualities as individual human beings, not on things like sexual orientation, or skin color, or where their families came from.
Q. See, that\’s why you have a gay son. Your upbringing encouraged him to be gay.
A. Then how come our other son is straight?
Q. Well, I mean that the other one didn\’t have it in him. Your gay son did, and could have gone either way. You and your wife, gave him “permission” to be gay.
A. That is nonsensical. He is gay because he is gay. Not because anyone gave him “permission”.
Q. Oh, come on. People are not born gay, they…
A. Actually people are born gay. Are you gay?
Q. No I\’m not. Why do you ask?
A. Well, what did you do to be straight?
Q. Nothing, you don\’t have to do anything to be straight, it\’s natural.
A. It\’s natural for straight people. And being gay is natural for gay people.
Q. That\’s an excuse.
A. No, that\’s a fact. Do you think my son sat down with a notepad, listed out the good and bad points of being straight versus being gay, added up each side and made an intellectual decision about this?
Q. Well, no, of course not.
A. Then tell me again how you think he became gay?
Q. uh……………..uh………………..look, I don\’t want to argue with you about that. But we both know he can be straight any time he wants.
A. No, he can ACT straight any time he wants. But that won\’t change the fact that he is gay. In any case, it doesn\’t matter, because he is fine with his sexual orientation and has no intention of pretending to be something he isn\’t.
Q. And you\’re ok with that?
A. Yes. In fact we\’re proud of it, because we\’re proud of him. Why shouldn\’t we be?
Q. Uh…..let\’s talk about something else.
A. Ok.
If anyone has any other questions or comments about this, please let me know. I\’ll answer every one.
