Here, according to Bloomberg, is the Memorandum Of Understanding between the United States and Iran…in rust, with my comments in blue:
1. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States, together with their allies in the current war, declare upon the signing of this Memorandum of Understanding an immediate and permanent end to the war on all fronts, including Lebanon, and undertake that from now on they will not launch any hostile action against each other, and will refrain from the threat or use of force against each other. The final agreement will confirm the provisions of this Article and the remaining Articles. Including Lebanon? What if Israel attacks Lebanon – or, more exactly, the hezbollah resources there which have caused much of the nothern Israel population to evacuate and continues to hit Israel? Does that count against us?
2. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States undertake to respect each other’s sovereignty and territorial integrity, and to refrain from interfering in each other’s internal affairs. Translation: the murderous mullahs stay in place.
3. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States undertake to negotiate and reach a final agreement within a maximum period of 60 days, extendable by mutual consent. Another stall by Iran. When do we ever learn?
4. Immediately upon the signing of this Memorandum of Understanding, the United States Lift [sic] the naval blockade and prevent any interference or obstruction against the Islamic Republic of Iran, and restore traffic within a maximum of 30 days to its full capacity; the traffic of ships shall be proportional to the pre-war volume of traffic on the part of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States also undertakes to withdraw its forces from the surrounding areas within 30 days after the final agreement. We give up our control over the Strait of Hormuz, and get nothing other than what we had before starting our military action. Whoopee.
5. Upon signing this Memorandum of Understanding, the Islamic Republic of Iran will immediately take steps to ensure that the movement of merchant ships from the Persian Gulf to the Sea of Oman and vice versa is resumed within 30 days to the pre-war volume, taking into account the need for the removal of technical obstacles and the neutralization of mines by Iran. Do you take Iran at its word? I hope not. Why would anyone?
6. The United States undertakes, together with its regional partners, to create a comprehensive plan agreed upon by both parties for the rehabilitation and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran, While ensuring financing of at least $300 billion. The implementation mechanism of this plan, as part of the final agreement, will be formulated within 60 days. We are agreeing to put Iran back together again, and we’re ok with “at least $300 billion” to do it? What are we, nuts?
7. The United States commits to ending, on a schedule to be agreed upon as part of the final agreement, all types of sanctions currently facing the Islamic Republic of Iran, including resolutions of the United Nations Security Council and the Board of Governors of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), and all unilateral U.S. sanctions, both primary and secondary. Sure, give them complete freedom to be what they were when we started our military action. In other words, nothing changes.
8. The Islamic Republic of Iran reiterates that it will never produce nuclear weapons. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States have agreed that the fate of enriched material and the fate of all other mutually agreed nuclear-related issues, including Iran’s nuclear needs, will be adequately addressed in a final agreement; the final agreement will confirm the provisions of this Article. A promise not to produce nuclear weapons from Iran? That’s like Lucy promising not to pull the football away from Charlie in the Peanuts comic strip. Meaningless.
9. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States agree that, pending a final agreement, they will maintain the status quo: Iran will maintain the status quo on its nuclear program, and the United States will not impose new sanctions on Iran or strengthen its forces in the region. Just like before. Nothing different. What did we fight for?
10. The United States undertakes that immediately after the signing of this Memorandum of Understanding, and until the date of the lifting of sanctions, the United States Treasury Department will issue waivers for exports of Iranian crude oil, petrochemical products and their derivatives, and all related services, including banking, insurance, transportation, and the like. Suuuurrre. The revenues to be used for rebuilding what we supposedly took down. Dear God.
11. The United States undertakes that, in light of the progress of negotiations towards a final agreement, frozen or restricted funds and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran will be released and made fully available. These funds, whether held in the master account or transferred, will be used for any final beneficiary payment determined by the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran and will be fully available for use. The United States undertakes to issue all necessary permits and licenses on this basis. Give the mullahs plenty of money. Yep, that’ll make things better for us, for Israel, for the other Gulf states and the rest of the world.
12. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States agree that an implementation mechanism will be established to oversee the successful implementation of and future commitment to the Final Agreement. Yep, let’s make sure this goes through as described. The mullahs thank you. Their victims don’t.
13. Following the signing of this Memorandum of Understanding, and upon receipt of assurances regarding the commencement of implementation of Articles 4, 5, 10, and 11 of this Memorandum of Understanding, and the continued implementation of these steps, the Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States will enter into negotiations for a Final Agreement solely with respect to the remaining Articles. Oh, now we’re negotiating with people who don’t abide by any negotiated agreement again. Great, just great.
14. The final agreement will be approved through a binding resolution of the UN Security Council. There you go. the UN is our final authority.
Please, please, please tell me this isn’t the real agreement. Please, please, please tell me there is more or there are different criteria we are not being shown. That this isn’t really the deal we fought to get.
I’ll wait to find out if this not-funny joke really, truly is what Mr. “The Art Of The Deal” got for us. If it is, we are in big trouble. And Israel – which I assure you, is not going to sit back an take hits from hezbollah in Lebanon without retaliating – is in big trouble as well…for doing nothing other than defending itself.
One more time: please, please, please tell me this isn’t the real agreement. Please, please, please tell me there is more or there are different criteria we are not being shown. That this isn’t really the deal we fought to get.
