This horrific list of puns comes to us from my sister….whose familial association is the only thing saving her from a firing squad.
Enjoy the groan-fest. And remember: things could be worse, you could be reading a political speech instead.
Thosewho jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
Aman\’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking
Dijonvu – the same mustard as before.
Practicesafe eating – always use condiments.
Shotgunwedding – A case of wife or death.
Aman needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Ahangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancingcheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Doesthe name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condomsshould be used on every conceivable occasion.
Readingwhile sunbathing makes you well red.
Whentwo egotists meet, it\’s an I for an I.
Abicycle can\’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
What\’sthe definition of a will? (It\’sa dead give away.)
Timeflies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Indemocracy your vote counts.
Infeudalism your count votes.
Shewas engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Achicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Ifyou don\’t pay your exorcist, you\’ll get repossessed.
Withher marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Theman who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Youfeel stuck with your debt if you can\’t budge it.
LocalArea Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
Everycalendar\’s days are numbered.
Alot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.
Aboiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Hehad a photographic memory that was never developed.
Amidget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium atlarge.
Onceyou\’ve seen one shopping center, you\’ve seen a mall.
Bakerstrade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa\’shelpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupunctureis a jab well done.
