Ken Berwitz
Here\’s a definite entry for this year\’s Darwin Award….in fact, as you will see from the following excerpt of a story in Sunday\’s Naples (Florida) News, we have four entries:
A naked man accused of driving 110 mph across AlligatorAlley with three female passengers was arrested Saturday afternoon on a DUIcharge, the Florida Highway Patrol reported.
Around 3 p.m., authorities began receiving calls of aCadillac driving recklessly, on and off the road, near the middle of AlligatorAlley, according to an arrest report. About 10 minutes later, an FHP trooperspotted the car as it traveled west toward the Naples area.
The trooper estimated the vehicle\’s speed at 110 mph. Hisradar said the Cadillac was driving 109 mph, reports said.
The trooper stopped the car. He noticed the driver had noshirt on and an open 12-pack of Corona beer between the driver\’s seat and thefront passenger seat, reports said. He asked the driver, Noe Dejesus, 33, tostep out of the car.
When Dejesus opened the door, the trooper saw he was naked,reports said.
OK, tell me who is more deserving of a Darwin Award: the genius who got drunk enough to drive 110 miles an hour with no clothes on, or the three female passengers who got into the car with a naked, drunk man?
It\’s a close call: I can argue that it\’s the naked drunk who drove 110MPH for reasons I assume you already know, or it\’s the three females, on the grounds that someone this drunk at least could argue he was not in control of his actions…but this trio of twits (and, no, that is not the misspelling of a body part – if it was I\’d have called it a sextet) who, knowing that he was drunk and naked (how could they not know), got into the car anyway.
And, in case you think this is funny, remember: in the next presidential election, every one of these four has the potential to cancel your vote.
Aaarrrrggghhhhhh
