Ken Berwitz
In the aftermath ofthe series of protests in Paris against occupation by activists and militants,who have grievances, we bring you the French plan for peace, based on France’sMideast policies. It is the only way to solve the problem of ISIS activismin Paris.
First, we all agreethat territory must not be annexed by force. Therefore, we can also agree thatGermany has a moral right to demand the return of Alsace-Lorraine, for theFrench aggression in 1945 and its consequent occupation must not be rewarded. “A full withdrawal for full peace” should operate here. Further, France mustagree to the return and rehabilitation of all ethnic Germans expelled fromAlsace-Lorraine after World Wars I and II, as well as all those they define astheir descendents.
But this, of course,is just the first step toward a solution, as no aggression canbe rewarded-and France has much other stolen territory to return. It tookCorsica from Genoa, Nice and Savoy from Piedmont; as the successor state, Italymust get back all these lands. By similar token, territories grabbed from theHabsburgs go back to Austria, including Franche-Comte, Artois, and historicBurgundy. The Roussillon area (along the Pyrenees) must be returned to Spain,its rightful owner. And Normandy, Anjou, Aquitaine, and Gascony must bereturned to their rightful owners, the British royal family.
Not even this notenough for the sake of peace. Brittany and Languedoc must be granted autonomyat once, recognizing the Breton and Occitan Liberation organizations as theirlegal rulers. This leaves the French government in control over the Île deFrance (the area around Paris).
That, however, stilldoes not solve the problem of the Holy City of Paris, sacred to artists,gourmets, and adulterers. The Corsicans obviously have a historic claim to theTomb of the Emperor Napoleon, their famed son, as well as the Invalides complexand beyond. For the sake of peace, is it not too much to ask that Paris be thecapital for two peoples? The French authorities must agree to preventFrench Parisians from even entering the sacred tomb area, lest this upset theCorsicans. Let the Eiffel Tower be converted into a mosque.
The Saint Chapelle and the Church of Notre Dame of course will beinternationalized, under joint Vatican-art historical auspices. Indeed,the French should consider it a compliment of the highest order that so manypeople see Paris as an international city.
The French havenothing to complain of. They will enjoy the benefits of peace and retaincontrol of the Champs Elysees.
Actually, come tothink of it, even the Champs Elysees may be too much. Recalling the Frenchposition that Jerusalem is not the capital of Israel, perhaps the true Frenchcapital is not Paris at all, but Vichy.
